​"The Courage to Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga is a self-help book that explores the principles of Adlerian psychology and how they can help individuals find happiness and overcome feelings of inferiority.

Adlerian psychology is a school of thought within the field of psychology that was founded by Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist, in the early 20th century. The basis of Adlerian psychology is the idea that human behavior is motivated by a drive for social connection and a desire to overcome feelings of inferiority.

Adler believed that each individual has a unique perspective on the world, and that this perspective is shaped by their early childhood experiences and social interactions. He believed that people are not passive victims of their environment, but rather active agents who can choose to change their circumstances and create a better future for themselves.

Adlerian psychology emphasizes the importance of social interest, which is the ability to connect with others and contribute to society. This concept is based on the idea that people are inherently social creatures who thrive in supportive and collaborative environments.

In summary, the basis of Adlerian psychology is the belief that human behavior is motivated by a drive for social connection, and that people have the power to shape their own destiny by developing their social interest and taking responsibility for their choices.
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The following lists some of the main takeaways from the book "The Courage to be Disliked":

• Freedom is the key to happiness: The book argues that happiness can only be achieved when we are free to choose our own path in life. We must learn to take responsibility for our choices and not be afraid to make mistakes.
• The past does not determine the present: Adlerian psychology emphasizes that our current situation is not determined by our past, but rather by our interpretation of it. We have the power to change our perspective and create a new future for ourselves.
• Social interest is crucial: The book highlights the importance of social interest, or the ability to connect with others and contribute to society. By focusing on the needs of others, we can find greater meaning and purpose in our lives.
• Don't seek validation from others: The book argues that seeking validation from others is a recipe for unhappiness. Instead, we must learn to accept ourselves for who we are and not rely on others to define our worth.
• Embrace the present moment: The book encourages readers to live in the present moment and not be weighed down by regrets or worries about the future. By focusing on the here and now, we can find greater happiness and fulfillment.

​Overall, "The Courage to Be Disliked" is a thought-provoking book that offers practical advice for anyone looking to live a happier, more fulfilling life. By embracing the principles of Adlerian psychology, readers can learn to overcome their fears and live with greater courage and confidence.

"Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink is a powerful guide to achieving success in both business and life. The book is based on Willink's experience as a Navy SEAL and his work as a leadership consultant, and it offers a set of principles that can help anyone become a better leader and achieve their goals.

At the heart of the book is the idea of extreme ownership. Willink argues that in order to succeed, we must take full responsibility for our actions and our circumstances. We must be willing to own our mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with a clear sense of purpose.

One of the key takeaways from the book is the importance of communication. Willink stresses the need for clear, concise communication in all aspects of life, from the battlefield to the boardroom. He also emphasizes the importance of listening and being receptive to feedback, as well as the value of building strong relationships with those around us.

Another central theme of the book is the importance of discipline. Willink argues that discipline is the key to success in any endeavor, and that we must be willing to push ourselves to our limits in order to achieve our goals. He also emphasizes the importance of planning and preparation, providing practical tips for developing good habits and routines.

Overall, "Extreme Ownership" is a must-read for anyone who wants to achieve success in their personal or professional life. Whether you're a business owner, a manager, or simply someone who wants to be a better leader, this book offers a wealth of insights and practical advice. So, if you're ready to take ownership of your life and achieve your goals, be sure to pick up a copy of "Extreme Ownership" today.

If you're interested in purchasing "Extreme Ownership", you can click on the affiliate link below to buy it on Amazon and support my blog. A breakdown of the key take aways are listed below: 

Introduction:

• Extreme ownership is taking full responsibility for everything in your life.
• Leaders who take extreme ownership are effective and respected.

Chapter 1: Extreme Ownership

• Leaders must take responsibility for everything that happens on their team.
• Blaming others leads to a culture of excuses and poor performance.
• Leaders must hold themselves and their team accountable.

Chapter 2: No Bad Teams, Only Bad Leaders

• The success of a team is determined by its leader.
• Leaders must train and mentor their team to achieve success.
• Leaders must create a culture of ownership and accountability.

Chapter 3: Believe

• Leaders must believe in their mission and communicate that belief to their team.
• Belief is essential for overcoming challenges and achieving success.
• Leaders must create a culture of belief and positivity.

Chapter 4: Check the Ego

• Ego can prevent leaders from admitting mistakes and learning from failures.
• Leaders must prioritize the success of their team over their own ego.
• Leaders must cultivate humility and a willingness to learn.

Chapter 5: Cover and Move

• Teams must work together to achieve their goals.
• Leaders must prioritize teamwork and collaboration.
• Leaders must ensure that all team members understand their role in achieving the mission.

Chapter 6: Simple

• Complexity can lead to confusion and mistakes.
• Leaders must prioritize simplicity and clarity in communication and decision-making.
• Leaders must avoid overcomplicating tasks and processes.

Chapter 7: Prioritize and Execute

• Leaders must prioritize tasks and execute them in a disciplined manner.
• Leaders must remain flexible and adapt to changing circumstances.
• Leaders must ensure that all team members understand their priorities and responsibilities.

Chapter 8: Decentralized Command

• Leaders must empower their team members to make decisions and take ownership of their roles.
• Decentralized command allows for flexibility and agility in decision-making.
• Leaders must ensure that their team members understand the mission and the desired outcomes.

Chapter 9: Plan

• Leaders must plan meticulously and anticipate challenges.
• Planning allows for effective communication and execution of tasks.
• Leaders must ensure that all team members understand the plan and their roles in executing it.

Chapter 10: Leading Up and Down the Chain of Command

• Leaders must communicate effectively with their superiors and subordinates.
• Leaders must provide clear guidance and feedback to those above and below them.
• Leaders must cultivate trust and respect with those they lead.

Conclusion:

• Extreme ownership is essential for effective leadership.
• Leaders who take extreme ownership are respected and successful.
• Anyone can become an effective leader by taking extreme ownership of their life and their team.

"The 48 Laws of Power" is a timeless classic that reveals the secrets of gaining and maintaining power in any social setting. Authored by Robert Greene, this book presents 48 laws of power that are based on historical and philosophical examples from around the world. Each law is explained in detail and illustrated with examples from history and contemporary life.
This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the dynamics of power and how to wield it effectively. From mastering the art of deception to never outshining the master, "The 48 Laws of Power" provides a comprehensive guide to achieving success in all aspects of life.

1. Never outshine the master - Don't upstage your superiors; let them take the credit.
2. Never put too much trust in friends - Friends can betray you more easily than enemies.
3. Conceal your intentions - Keep your plans hidden from others to avoid sabotage.
4. Always say less than necessary - Talk less to keep people guessing and give yourself an air of mystery.
5. So much depends on reputation - Guard your reputation at all costs.
6. Court attention at all costs - Be flamboyant and bold to get people's attention and admiration.
7. Get others to do the work for you, but always take credit - Delegate tasks to others and take the credit for their work.
8. Make other people come to you - Be elusive and mysterious to make people come to you.
9. Win through your actions, never through argument - Don't argue your point; prove it with your actions.
10. Infection: Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky - Stay away from negative people and those with bad luck.
11. Learn to keep people dependent on you - Keep people dependent on you to maintain your power.
12. Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim - Be honest and generous to manipulate people into trusting you.
13. When asking for help, appeal to people's self-interest - Appeal to people's self-interest to get what you want.
14. Pose as a friend, work as a spy - Pretend to be someone's friend to get information that can be used against them.
15. Crush your enemy totally - Don't leave any chance for your enemy to rise again.
16. Use absence to increase respect and honor - Disappear for a while to make people appreciate your presence.
17. Keep others in suspended terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability - Keep people guessing and afraid to challenge you.
18. Do not build fortresses to protect yourself - Be flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances.
19. Know who you're dealing with: do not offend the wrong person - Know who you're dealing with to avoid making powerful enemies.
20. Do not commit to anyone - Keep your options open and don't commit to anyone too soon.
21. Play a sucker to catch a sucker: seem dumber than your mark - Play dumb to lure your opponents into a trap.
22. Use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power - Use surrender as a tactic to gain power.
23. Concentrate your forces - Focus your energy on one thing to achieve success.
24. Play the perfect courtier - Be a master of social skills to gain favor with people in power.
25. Re-create yourself - Reinvent yourself to stay ahead of the game.
26. Keep your hands clean - Don't get your hands dirty, let others do the dirty work for you.
27. Play on people's need to believe to create a cult-like following - Use people's desire to believe to create a loyal following.
28. Enter action with boldness - Be confident and bold to intimidate your opponents.
29. Plan all the way to the end - Plan everything in advance to avoid mistakes.
30. Make your accomplishments seem effortless - Make your achievements look easy to gain admiration and respect.
31. Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal - Control the situation to your advantage by giving others limited options.
32. Play to people's fantasies - Tap into people's fantasies to manipulate them.
33. Discover each man's thumbscrew - Find out what motivates people to gain power over them.
34. Be royal in your own fashion: act like a king to be treated like one - Act like a king to be treated with respect and admiration.

Whether you're an entrepreneur, politician, or simply looking to improve your social skills, this book is a valuable resource that will help you navigate the complex world of power dynamics. So, if you're ready to take your power game to the next level, be sure to check out "The 48 Laws of Power" today! And for more insights and tips on how to succeed in life, be sure to follow our blog.

Conclusion: I found this book extremely valuable, the author Tim Ferris combines his interviews with world-class performers into short summaries. These world-class performers include celebrities, athletes, scientists and more, the beautiful thing about this book is that if a subject matter or person captures your mind you can then further investigate that further in your own time, the chapters are typically short, and act as a tasting plate of the worlds best in their chosen field. 

I highly recommend this book as a first step, this book will start a segway into your journey of knowledge and self development. It will open so many doors to knowledge for the reader. 

Please see a note from the owner below... 

From the author:
 
“For the last two years, I’ve interviewed more than 200 world-class performers for my podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show. The guests range from super celebs (Jamie Foxx, Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc.) and athletes (icons of powerlifting, gymnastics, surfing, etc.) to legendary Special Operations commanders and black-market biochemists. For most of my guests, it’s the first time they’ve agreed to a two-to-three-hour interview. This unusual depth has helped make The Tim Ferriss Show the first business/interview podcast to pass 100 million downloads.
 
“This book contains the distilled tools, tactics, and ‘inside baseball’ you won’t find anywhere else. It also includes new tips from past guests, and life lessons from new ‘guests’ you haven’t met.
 
“What makes the show different is a relentless focus on actionable details. This is reflected in the questions. For example: What do these people do in the first sixty minutes of each morning? What do their workout routines look like, and why? What books have they gifted most to other people? What are the biggest wastes of time for novices in their field? What supplements do they take on a daily basis?
 
“I don’t view myself as an interviewer. I view myself as an experimenter. If I can’t test something and replicate results in the messy reality of everyday life, I’m not interested.
 
“Everything within these pages has been vetted, explored, and applied to my own life in some fashion. I’ve used dozens of the tactics and philosophies in high-stakes negotiations, high-risk environments, or large business dealings. The lessons have made me millions of dollars and saved me years of wasted effort and frustration.
 
“I created this book, my ultimate notebook of high-leverage tools, for myself. It’s changed my life, and I hope the same for you.”

I discovered this book as it is mentioned on several podcasts and in Tim Ferris' Tools of Titans.  

Siddhartha is a beautifully written novel by Hermann Hesse that deals with the spiritual journey of self-discovery of a man named Siddhartha during the time of the Gautama Buddha. Originally written in German, in a simple, lyrical style it has since been translated into other languages. 

The word Siddhartha is made up of two words in Sanskrit language, siddha (achieved) + artha (what was searched for), which together means "he who has found meaning (of existence)" or "he who has attained his goals". In fact, the Buddha's own name, before his renunciation, was Siddhartha Gautama, Prince of Kapilavastu. In this book, the Buddha is referred to as "Gotama".

In Hesse’s novel, experience, the totality of conscious events of a human life, is shown as the best way to approach understanding of reality and attain enlightenment—Hesse’s crafting of Siddhartha’s journey shows that understanding is attained not through intellectual methods, nor through immersing oneself in the carnal pleasures of the world and the accompanying pain of samsara. It is the completeness of these experiences that allows Siddhartha to attain understanding.
Extract taken from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddhartha_(novel)

PLOT SUMMARY:

Siddhartha, is the handsome and respected son of a Brahmin (high priest caste in Indian culture). Set in ancient India, everyone in the village expects Siddhartha to be a successful Brahmin like his father. Siddhartha enjoys a comfortable existence with his best friend, Govinda, but he is unforfilled. He studies and practices all the rituals of his religion, and he does everything he should to bring him happiness and peace. Nonetheless, he feels empty. His father and the other elders have still not achieved enlightenment, and he feels that staying with them will not settle the questions he has about the nature of his existence. Siddhartha believes he has learnt everything he can in his village and looks to seek more. 

Siddhartha continues his life journey of self discovery meeting various mentors that teach him a different perspective for lie. 

A group of wanders called Samana, they are starved and almost naked and have come to beg for food. They believe enlightenment can be reached through asceticism, a rejection of the body and physical desire. Siddhartha learns how to free himself from the traditional trappings of life, and so loses his desire for property, clothing, sexuality, and all things except for that which is required to live. His goal is to find enlightenment by eliminating his Self, and he successfully renounces the pleasures of the world.
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Siddhartha hears about a new holy man named Gotama the Buddha who has attained the total spiritual enlightenment called Nirvana. Govinda convinces Siddhartha they both should leave seek out Gotama. Siddhartha meets Gotama but decides to embark on a life free from meditation and the spiritual quests he has been pursuing, and to instead learn from the pleasures of the body and the material world.

On his journey, Siddhartha crosses the ferryman’s river and comes to a city. Here, a beautiful courtesan named Kamala draws his attentions. He knows she would be the best one to teach him about the world of love and lust, but Kamala will not have him unless he proves he can fit into the material world.

Siddhartha soon finds employment with a merchant named Kamaswami and begins to learn art of business. While Siddhartha learns the wisdom of the business world and begins to master the skills Kamaswami teaches him, Kamala becomes his lover and teaches him what she knows about love and lust.

The material world causes Siddhartha into a depressed mindset, causing him to seek out the same content ferryman he met years before. The ferryman, who introduces himself as Vasudeva, radiates an inner peace that Siddhartha wishes to attain.  Siddhartha studies the river and begins to take from it a spiritual enlightenment unlike any he has ever known. While sitting by the river, he contemplates the unity of all life.

One day Kamala the courtesan approaches the ferry along with her son on a pilgrimage to visit Gotama. This boy whom is identified as Siddhartha's. Siddhartha tries to provide for his son, but the boy is spoiled and cynical. Siddhartha’s son dislikes life with the two ferrymen and wishes to return to his familiar city and wealth. Siddhartha awakens to find his son has run away and stolen all of his and Vasudeva’s money. Siddhartha chases after the boy, but as he reaches the city he realizes the chase is futile. Siddhartha soothes the pain of losing his son by listening to the river.

Just as the water of the river flows into the ocean and is returned by rain, all forms of life are interconnected in a cycle without beginning or end. Birth and death are all part of a timeless unity. Life and death, joy and sorrow, good and evil are all parts of the whole and are necessary to understand the meaning of life. By the time Siddhartha has learned all the river’s lessons, Vasudeva announces that he is through with his life at the river. He retires into the forest, leaving Siddhartha to be the ferryman.

The novel ends with Govinda returning to the river to seek enlightenment by meeting with a wise man who lives there. When Govinda arrives, he does not recognize that the wise man is Siddhartha himself. Govinda is still a follower of Gotama but has yet to attain the kind of enlightenment that Siddhartha now radiates, and he asks Siddhartha to teach him what he knows. Siddhartha explains that neither he nor anyone can teach the wisdom to Govinda, because verbal explanations are limited and can never communicate the entirety of enlightenment. Instead, he asks Govinda to kiss him on the forehead, and when Govinda does, the vision of unity that Siddhartha has experienced is communicated instantly to Govinda. Govinda and Siddhartha have both finally achieved the enlightenment they set out to find in the days of their youth.

Conclusion: I enjoyed this book,  as in our own lives we wear different hats at different periods of our journey. Those periods of growth and challenges prepare us for our next chapter teaching and equipping us with the tools for what lies ahead. This book beautifully encapsulates this narrative.  

Extracts taken from https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/siddhartha/summary/

​12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos was published in 2018 by Canadian clinical psychologist and psychology professor Jordan Peterson. The book provides life advice through essays on abstract ethical principles, psychology, mythology, religion, and personal anecdotes.

The book is broken up into 12 parts/"rules" for life: 

1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
This physical posture says to the world "I am confident and a force to be recond with". Consciously being aware of this posture will eventually make it second nature, and people will respond to you better and take you more seriously in the world. The world doesn't reward the meek. 

2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
We often take care of our family members, friends and pets better than we take care of ourselves. Don't be so hard on yourself, and treat yourself the same way as you would someone you love dearly. 

3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
Rid yourself of toxic friends, and remember you are the average of the five people you hangout with the most. So if you hang out with five drug addicts, the odds are you will become a drug addict. Hangout with five people who are driven, motivated and have a desire for growth, and you will most likely be like that as well. 

4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
Comparison to another persons haves results in envy. Peterson suggests rather than compare yourself to another person, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday, and each day try to improve yourself (just a little bit) from the person you were the day before. As Roosevelt said "comparison is the theif of joy". 

5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
Raise your children in a manner where they will be liked by others, don't let them do things that make you dislike them, you can imagine if you don't like them, then other people (children and adults) will dislike them. It is the role of the parent to ready them (children) for positive interactions with the outside world, and a large part of that is social interactions with other people. If they are raised in a manner where they think they can get away with doing unlikable things, then this will make it difficult for them to be liked later on in life. 

6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
Our world is abundent with suffering and malevolence, so why spend our time and energy trying to criticise or fix another person. Instead concentrate on fixing ourselves first, as that is a life time journey. 

7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)

8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
Don't corrupt your own perceptions, if you lie they you are really lying to yourself, then you cannot trust your own perceptions, and then nothing you pursue will be pure. 

9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
This is a mark of recognition of ones own ignorance, what is more important? What you do know or what you don't know? There is a lot that we don't know, and often what we don't know is more important that what we already know.  Listen to others and you may learn something new. 

10. Be precise in your speech  

11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
Do not shelter your children. The world is a hard place which is touched with betrayal and malevolence, this is a metaphor to allow your children to expose themselves to some level of risk, to prepare them to thrive in a world where they can't be sheltered from.  

12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
What to do when you don't know what to do? When life has hit a road hump, how do you cope with that? The necessity of narrowing your time frame to the adversity and taking the time to appreciate the small things that cross your path. 

Conclusion: I found this book helpful and see it as a good starting point for people who are lacking to find or develop any definition in their character. These 12 rules can be a starting block for greater self development as we know personal growth is a long life journey and this book is a good start.  

For those Dapper Men who are about the details that will complete their look. Including pin pointing their collars in the perfect upright position without any flare outs, magnetic collar stays are the solution. 

If you often go for the tie-less look, but are sick of your collars flaring out and not staying in place, you need a set of Magnetic Collar Stays by Dapper Man. This product is designed to keep your collars in place all the time.  

Your stainless steel collar stays are inserted into the small pouch in the underside of your shirt collar  (please check your shirt has this pouch under the collar) .

The small magnet is placed on the inner side of the shirt where the stainless steel stay and magnet stick together keeping your collar in the perfect place. 

The magnetic collar stays by Dapper Man are used by stylists, fashion photographers, instagram influencers and celebrities worldwide and are of the highest quality and best value available.

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